It
seems so long ago, yet when I share it seems like yesterday. Many years ago, I went through a horrible
divorce. I never in my wildest dreams thought I would find myself walking in
those shoes through that valley. Back then the divorce rate was 1 in 5 and in
no way could I see myself as the one. We were young, living the dream. My
ex-husband, for a young guy was making a great living, and I was teaching. We
had bought our dream home and life was perfect.
We
overcame every obstacle; we went through IVF and that brought us the miracle
birth of my precious Josie! I could not
imagine my life; my marriage would take a turn and go in a direction I had only
heard of others facing. I would be the first one in my family to face a
divorce.
Now,
when something is off in your marriage, you know it, a nagging feeling you
cannot shake. I can remember being in
constant earnest prayer for God to intervene and save my marriage. I would pray
for him, me, our life. I would place prayers and scripture in his lunch, in his
car. I tried and begged with God! Things
were spiraling out of control. I could not fix it nor could I stop the
spiral. I reach out to his Mom, she told
me to be patient, do my part and he would find his way back.
Money
began to disappear from our account, he began to have to be out of town often.
I was a wreck. I continued to pray. I
thought I was going through the worst time of my life and God was not answering
my prayers. I couldn’t understand it. I
was angry with everyone and with God. Things continued to go downhill, and I
continued to pray and search for ways to save my marriage. One day I received a
call - he was, in fact, having an affair and it was the beginning of the end of
my life as I knew it.
Why,
oh why, didn’t God show favor on my marriage?
Why was He not answering my prayer?
I had never ever been so heartbroken.
I can remember screaming out to God and literally fighting with Him. One night I even had a dream that was so real
I can still vividly recall it. It was God, me, and the devil. The devil had me, and I can remember being so
hot and so frightened as he pulled me in to the gates of hell! I was screaming and begging for God to save
me, I abruptly woke up on the floor, I had fallen out of the bed and I was
shaking, crying and sweaty. I knew then
God had not left me, He was saving me.
You
see, I had married a man that was a wonderful provider, but I was mentally,
physically, and emotionally abused. I did not realize that this abuse was not
okay! God WAS answering prayers. He was SAVING me! God answers prayers, they
just may not be in the manner that we want them to be answered but He answers
prayer in the way that is best for us.
Today
I am married to a wonderful man, who is perfect for me. He is not perfect, but
he is perfect for me. I work with him,
and I find myself meeting those traveling the horrible road of divorce. I can use my testimony to help them know that
God is good all the time and all the time God is so good. He has a perfect plan
for each of us and he will NEVER forsake us, it is us that forsakes Him.
Deuteronomy
31:8 - It is the Lord who goes before you.
He will be with you; He will not leave you or forsake you. Do not fear
or be dismayed.
Comments
Post a Comment